Last month, our students practiced managing their emotions. During October, we are building on that work with our new school-wide social-emotional skill: empathy.

For young children, empathy begins with noticing. A friend is crying because they miss their grown-up. Someone feels disappointed when the favorite truck is already being used. A classmate is excited to show everyone the tower they built.

Children are still learning that other people can feel differently than they do. They may care deeply about a friend and still grab the toy that friend is holding. That does not mean they lack kindness. It means they need us to help them notice, understand, and practice what to do next.

What Empathy Looks Like at School

We teach empathy in the little moments that happen throughout the day. A teacher might say, “Look at your friend’s face. I think she feels sad that her tower fell. Let’s check on her.”

Children may practice asking, “Are you okay?”, offering help, giving someone space, or celebrating a friend’s good news. Sometimes empathy looks like sitting beside someone. Sometimes it looks like listening when a friend says, “I don’t like that.”

We also want children to know that caring about someone does not mean they must give up every toy, accept an unwanted hug, or fix every feeling. We can be kind while having boundaries of our own.

Books to Share

Reading together gives children a chance to notice feelings and talk about caring for others. These books connect well with our empathy focus:

  • The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld: A gentle story about how simply being beside someone can help when they are upset.
  • How Do Dinosaurs Play with Their Friends? by Jane Yolen: A playful look at sharing, taking turns, and treating friends kindly.
  • Should I Share My Ice Cream? by Mo Willems: Gerald wrestles with a very relatable question: whether to share something he really wants to keep!
  • The Feelings Book by Todd Parr: Simple, colorful illustrations help our youngest learners recognize and name different feelings.
  • Have You Filled a Bucket Today? by Carol McCloud: Introduces the idea that our words and actions can help others feel loved and valued.

As you read, pause to ask, “How do you think they feel?” “What do you notice about their face?” or “What could we do to help?” For younger children, you can simply point and name: “He looks sad. His friend is staying close.”

Playful Ways to Practice Empathy

Care for a Stuffed Animal

Pretend a stuffed animal is sad, hurt, or nervous about coming to school. Ask, “What might help?” Your child can bring a blanket, sit nearby, or use comforting words. Remind them that they can ask before offering a hug.

Be Feeling Detectives

Use pictures in books to notice faces and body language. Say, “Her eyebrows are scrunched. I wonder if she feels frustrated.” Let your child share an idea, remembering that we can ask someone how they feel rather than assume.

Practice Checking In

Use puppets or toys to practice simple phrases: “Are you okay?” “Would you like help?” and “Do you want some space?” Even a wave, a gentle gesture, or bringing an adult can be a caring response.

Celebrate Someone Else

Practice cheering for a sibling’s accomplishment or noticing a friend’s hard work. Empathy includes sharing happy feelings, too!

Keep these activities short and playful. A few minutes of pretending, reading, or noticing together can give children words and ideas to use during real moments with friends.